on the balance between written and improvised songs. Improv provides certain difficulties and getting shows, allowing for audience participation and consistency. I love a primarily improvisational mode though. The way things show up when the usual conventions are subverted fascinates me.
I don't want to just play songs that are essentially the same everytime they're performed. A tune, or some general motif is pleasing, and going from that is wonderful, but more preconditions leave me feeling trapped. I can learn and rehearse and perfect songs with consistency, but all the creativity is in the making of it.
The fires of creation don't spill out my fingers when I'm playing that which is known. It is only when forging new ground that my spirit soars. In improvisational music I have found that "mystical connection to the starry dynamo in the holy machinery of night"
The madness that moves further towards destroying me is channeled into this anarchic vehicle and made inert. only for a moment do my passions cease to cause me harm. All the pain and sorrow that spreads in me comes out, leaving nothing but music, and hands aching at the pure effort of expression.
so philosophically I want improv. I set out to write logically, questing for some intimation of what my musical purpose is. Instead I have found and inner desire to set free my wildest of wills and see what happens.
In a way I set myself up for unhinging. Complete removal from the banal, the normal, and even the sane. I strive for anarchy, for freedom, and for improvisation.